Falling from the sky...

For all my dramatics.... And yes, self pity.
I do believe I sometimes climb out from that "servitude" to negativity and open my eyes to the greater stuff.

I feel warm and fluffy. Whether that's the extra fabric softener or the fact I'm sitting in the sun (with no sunscreen smeared on either) we will never know.

I feel a twang in the very core of my soul, like me and those I love are going to have some GOOD life changing moments in the next couple of months.

And I'll leave THAT to fate.

Lines...

Nearly 6 hours ago, I got woken up from trying to sleep off a killer migraine. And under an hour later we were standing in Casualties at the nearest private hospital, booking in the matriarch of our family.

At 77, and pretty much during the 31 years of my existence alone, 4 weeks ago was the first time seeing my Ouma helpless in a hospital bed because she was sick.
I don't even remember her even having enough of a flu to get her bedbound. (This might have to do with the combination of her boere attitude and old housewife remedies).
To see the Ouma of 21 grandkids (yes 21...not including the married on grandkids) and 18 great grandchildren....oh and 2 great great granchildren... Lying bedbound in a hospital bed and for the most part helpless...was a shock to the balance of our lives.

She can still put the fear of God in you with a slap on the back. Bake up a storm that would put modern mothers to shame and all intertwined with an independance that should be imbedded in every woman of today.

After being out of hospital for two weeks (after being IN hospital for two weeks) ...getting the call that she stopped breathing and your aunt and uncle battled for MINUTES to bring her back. Well.
The way my parents and I reacted was heading straight to her, loading her in the car...and driving her to the hospital.
We even stood outside in the hallways making jokes about her being in the maternity ward at 77.... Ahem.
But the seriousness was all too apparent when she got moved into ICU for observation.
Leaving the hospital...the sense was still there. But sitting in my driveway crying like a little girl, updating family for the last time tonight via Facebook... I have drawn a short straw on emotional stability.

The absolute fear of sleep hangs over this house... Fear that is irrational and emotionally unstable.
All wrapped in that dreaded hope that "nothing bad will happen"...

Sigh

Let's see what tomorrow brings?

Breathing...and alive

We live in a time where "bi polar" has become the "in" disorder to have. Head shrinks apparently diagnose every Willy and nilly with it.

Far removed from the Victorian /Elizabethan view of the mental illness once known as "manic depression"... Where sufferers were drugged into vegetative states and locked in asylums.

But to really KNOW you have it and to really SUFFER with this chemical imbalance is on a whole different page to society.
Hi-polar and (negative) uni-polar are not hip.....and certainly not cool.

To watch someone happily taking part in a social activity and then in a split second be irrationally angry/upset/sad about the tiniest of things....is no way to wish it on anyone.

It takes little or nothing for a downer to happen. And sometimes these downers last more than a few seconds....or hours....or days.
Medication often only lessens the chances or instances of these downers happening.
Medication often only makes this chemical imbalance "manageable". The real fight happens in your head...that fight with logic and the irrationality of the mood.

And though the fight can sometimes be won with positive triggers...good comfort food...chocolate.
It again is only all in aid of managing something that those who *don't* suffer with it.....are ignorant to.

Having something that will forever leave you wondering what it would be like "to be happy for no reason"....is no blessing.

Drugging up a sufferer will not make YOU more understanding of each mood swing...and less so of each downer.
And thinking you're a hip emo kid by saying you have bi-polar....makes you worse than any Elizabethan practitioner of magical medicines that thought he could cure anyone from this "desease" of the mind.

To those who suffer from bi-polar and uni-polar. To those who fight the downers. Fight the mood swings. Battle everyday....

My respect for you is endless.

Orange juice might be the only cure....

....or at least I could dream it.

Stress, stress, stress.
It's pretty much gotten to the point where I'm not even hiding it well. Everyone that has seene since yesterday is asking why I look so stressed... Not that I know what stress *looks* like
Sigh

Finding a short moment of calm in the biggest glass of ice cold orange juice I can find. And hopefully, this will wash away. At least a little.

Chai latte smoothies for lunch...

That blissful burn as the temperature reaches over 25℃ and the sky burns a light blue, aching for rain as badly as the dusty ground...
It's Spring...

With it comes this wave of uncertainty about me.
As out of our control as economic stability, and to a certain extent, work stability can be... There's a security to knowing what and how many worries I have RIGHT now.

But at the same time...there's an urge in me to take (that aged cliche) "a leap of faith"... And yet a part of me also keeps looking to the failure of those that did... And it all screeches to a halt right there.

No amount of encouragment can seem to get me unstuck.
Sigh.

It's probably a self belief problem...but also that surety issue in the current state of economic affairs we find ourselves in.
How ironic.

Under the impression...

No matter how many relationships you have or haven't been in... I don't think anyone is an "expert" on them.
But I do feel there are points to note on the good relationships you observe... And equally on the bad ones.

When our relationships with friends make us unhappy, or don't fulfill a need (someone to confide in, confidentially. Someone who'll have your back in times of trouble or hooliganism. Someone you want to call right away to share good news with etc.) We dissolve the friendship....sometimes.
Yes?

Just as a friendship should be of MUTUAL positivity and benefit, so to shouldn't a committed relationship?
Why are so many relationships "on show" biasedly destructive? Why is one side of most relationships I've witnessed recently been set on destroying the other half and the friendships/relationships/family of the other half?
What is there to gain from ruining the core and happiness of your partner?
I've always rolled my eyes at the phrase "they complete me" .... No. Either you are a complete person and they're the "icing on the cake of who you are" ...or you are headed for imminent disaster when you one day realise "they won't allow you to be you" or you need to go on a journey to "find yourself".
The other person should be the cherry on the top of the cake that is you and who you are. They should even make you better...happy...

One sided destruction, secrets, hiding things...
Has this become what relationships are? Or have they always been an all out selfish gain for one side?

If so... Thank goodness for single life.
And thank goodness for the choice in having positive friends to embrace your own choice to live as you want to be.

With so many soul sucking relationships out there... I am surprised we have any kind of civility left in this world.

To my friends on the receiving end of these destructive relationships... I wish all the answers were available. I wish the ways out were easier. I wish we could have seen it coming...
I know you're all worth better and you all deserve better.
And should I ever find myself on that train track...I hope I have the sense and heart to heed the warnings of friends and family.
Within reason of course ;)

Happy Friday.

Let it be real for belief and denial...

I'm on my third day of sick leave, rotten with bronchitis -.-

All this time and space in my little quiet home has left me with alot of thinking time, breathing time (when I'm not coughing my lungs into spasm that is)... I've been filling this little house with my music collection... yesterday was alot of This Will Destroy You (their track Quiet has just left me so inlove with their music all over again)... and today it's one of my all time favourite artists, Tracy Chapman.

This newer album of hers that I got myself... well. Good thing I have tissues next to my sickbed. Seriously.
♥

My bed has become my workspace as I update listings for Wonder Struck Inc's on online stores. These listings are way overdue >.<
and I have the most gorgeous collection of puppymonsters that are coming in to check on me as my guardian lays jealously at the end of my bed.
I very much, to the bottom of my heart, feel like I could be a work-at-home-puppymonster-mom.
It may just be the ridiculously strong collection of medication, the coffee (that I'm apparently not supposed to be drinking), and the amazing music I am lucky enough to have discovered and fallen in love with, and nevermind the HUGE collection of marketing reading material next to me... but that is truly how I've been feeling lately.
Discarding the sensible, logical side of my brain about paying up my responsibilities... I don't think I'd make a stressless hippy, but oh how a part of me longs!

I will merely end this entry with the lyrics from one of my new favourite Tracy Chapman tracks, to kind of put into perspective my mental and emotional state with all this time to myself:

ALMOST - Tracy Chapman

Almost got what I want
Almost found what I lost
Almost saved you and myself
Almost won but it doesn't count
And never does
Never does

One green light
One more ring of the telephone
One more step
One more second
And I almost
Almost

Almost got what I want
Almost found what I lost
Almost saved you and myself
Almost won but it doesn't count
And never does
Never does

One hello
Just one kiss before the tears come
One yes
One chance
And I almost
Almost almost almost

Almost got what I want
Almost found what I lost
Almost saved you and myself
Almost won but it doesn't count
And never does
Never does

One day one year
5,000 weeks
A life of good works and good deeds
Let me be let me be closer
Or let me be
Let me be
Let me be

When I've almost got what I want
Almost found what I lost
Almost saved you and myself
Almost won but it doesn't count
And never does
Never does

One good guess
A question with an answer that I know
One idea
One grand notion
And I almost
Almost almost almost

Almost got what I want
Almost found what I lost
Almost saved you and myself
Almost won but it doesn't count
And never does
Never does
Never does
Never does

Instagramming for dummies.

I do feel that I need to point out how addicted I've becoming to Instagram recently. Blogging my life in pictures and never having to *BE* in any of them... how perfect is that?

Yes... I find this amateur photo taking business rather appeals to me...

If you're on Instagram and think my photo overload is worth looking at, follow me: Zoocatty

There's just been too much happening... both in life and in my head over June for me to even start sorting through. And to put it all into words? right now? yeah... not going to happen.

At least not soon.

Pretty much how I've been feeling ...

I am sure though about how much I've come to appreciate good friends, good family and yes, a good life.

Between philanthropy, people noting happenings in my life, noting happenings in the lives of others... all of which may be dismissed as trivial to the horribleness of this world and 99% of the humans that exist in it with the same view... I do see the silver lining around these clouds.

Pardon the cliche, but I'm not one for words today.

I know, more than ever, that no one will beable to get me where I want to go, other than me.

And I am ready to fight, bloodied fists and all.

hot water bottle huggings...

It may just be that the entire house is tiled, but WOW it's cold this winter.

Not that I for one minute regret getting into my own space either.

These next few days are going to leave me raw, with nerves frayed dangerously around the edges as we wait in anticipation to see who will be retrenched at the office this Friday.

It's been a maddening 3 weeks of waiting.

Really.

But, as with most logic, panicking over possibly being jobless won't do anything to better the situation.

And so we wait to see what will happen.

>.<

When there are things...

Flow botted...

Cannot even remember when and what my last post was... The disadvantages of not being on a pc/notebook.

But here's today's post:

I have busted my right shoulder somehow, and I'm put to get myself by abusing the injury.
Sigh
Being an "independent woman" is very overrated in these situations...

Funny enough....or not funny. Someone I have "followed" on social sites, went in 2 days ago for MAJOR surgery to her right shoulder.
And a few months back my Ouma had an op on her right shoulder.

It's like sock trolls that steal the left's...we have shoulder gremlins...but only on the right.

Sigh.

Admittedly my shoulder ouchies are no where near surgery bad. Can I get a hallelujah?

....now that my self pitied whine is done.

Recently drove the She Grim and Wezzles out to Sundowners in Alberton for the last stretch of Sunfest.
It was my first time at Sundowners (obviously not the first gig, fest or venue as metalhead).
It was a mixing pot of different ages, scenes, people. All blending at the bars and dispersing to the bonfires in their cliques.
Ah...there is just nothing that compares to mixture of humans at ANY gig though.
The most noteable of the three bands we "watched" was a four piece (I may be wrong by one) band called The Newtown Knife Gang.
If you're around Gauteng, find any gigs these guys may be doing. They'll be worth watching and hearing, promise.

As winter starts coming in...the band gigs get few and far between, but somehow I think I just need to get back out there into a space again.
Hermatising between work and Wonder Struck Inc often makes me disappear from the world for days without me realising how much I'm missing out on.

Also... Life has been thought about.
The quality of it.
Not so much the purpose....for I think that would depress me more than I could live with.

Typist's lament

Being at work on a Friday seems equivalent to typing one handed on a huge laptop keyboard (when there's coffee in one hand, I try to multitask, ok?)

...I might also feel like this after a late night of heavy confidences and a 4am wakeup call.
Since taking these unwavering steps to "living honestly".... I was told that my honesty was "brutal" and "hurtful".
There comes a time when I just cannot stand seeing really awesome people, or people who are borne with the potential to be more amazing, sucking the positive side out of EVERYTHING.
I just can't.

I'm unipolar, I am depressive/pessimistic by birth... And you know what? Buck the hell up.
This world will seem dark if that's all you ever want to see.

If you own your own "business" and you complain how every client sucks, how all the work they give you sucks, how sucky the inspiration is in everything.... You know what I see?
I see that you work for yourself (which is a privilege), I see your bills getting paid because those sucky customers are PAYING you for doing your best despite their work sucking and despite the lack of inspiration.... You get to wake up in the morning and be the boss of your to-do list.

...I work in a volatile industry, see between 6 and 12 people a day. 5 days a week.
And 99% of the people I see everyday are negative. All they can talk about is how bad the industry is, how little work there is, how their staff are on short time.
I still smear a smile on my face (and even if it is 90% fake) and I go face the negativity... I choose to see that there is still 1 customer in 100 that will have something positive to say, who will say thank you, who will smile back.
And that...pretty much makes up for almost all the Crap I face otherwise.

You have *so* much work that you're up late almost every night?
You have people who are calling you just to say hi, and NOT because they want something from you?
You have a roof over your head?
Is the weather great today?
You got to experience that gorgeous first sip of tea/coffee this morning and watch the Autumn sun rise?

Well...Lucky you...too bad it all passed you by without you appreciating any of it. Then you don't deserve any of it.
Maybe you're the type who can only want/need/appreciate it when it's all GONE.

Buck. Up.

Returning...

I don't know why, but I adore this song more on rainy days.
Despite how sad these words are... It makes me feel so comfortable and happy as grey overcast skies rain down on every surface facing it.
But I also find this song, starkly appropriate...in the present.

Hope Leaves - Opeth
In the corner beside my window
There hangs a lonely photograph
There is no reason
I'd never notice a memory that could hold
me back
There is a wound that's always bleeding
There is a road I'm always walking
And I know you'll never return to this
place
Gone through days without talking
There is a comfort in silence
So used to losing all ambition
And struggling to maintain what's left

And once undone, there is only smoke
Burning in my eyes to blind
To cover up what really happened
And force the darkness unto me

Even when the clouds leave...

I hate that changing for the better is *this* difficult.
Ye, I can already hear the cliche "otherwise it wouldn't be worth it" being thrown around... I am not the only human being in my life (directly and indirectly) that needs to buck up.
But then again...there are those gems in my life that make me persevere. The better I become for me...the more amazing the human beings that I'll get to spend breathing space with.
Friday night: M.. Who is just becoming so much of a delightful lady, stepped out her comfort zone to join me at a night market. She helped setup and pack away. She partied that venue upside down and even had ladies over 50 headbanging on the makeshift dancefloor. I crawled into bed near 1am for 5 hours of sleep. Blessed that not only M bit a boy we both know also stopped by the venue to say hi.
Saturday: despite little sleep and a killer hangover, M joined me and the Henley group for another day long market. And she survived.
She even stayed up long enough at the post market / pre-birthday braai for one of my Henley girls.
My parental unit...fresh from a 4x4 excursion had also stopped by during the market.
These are the human beings I will gladly limit my life to. Go to the end of the world for. Be a packhorse for.
They have allowed me in their lives...despite my unforgivables...my quirks...my frustration at changes I've been making for myself...
There are times when we all disappear into ourselves and then we get these frantic worried phone calls and messages checking if we're ok.... A genuine concern for one another. Genuine damn is given between us in this small group, no matter how small the news.
None of us has seen/heard from anyone else that claim "friend" in our presence... And maybe that's the first tick... When *will* they be in our presence? When we "need" to pick them up/meet them/listen to their Crap....
Are these the people we just simply let slip away...as if we'd notice MUCH of a difference to now.
I'm genuinely exhausted being disappointed by halfhearted "friendship" when I am merely there for convenience.
I've been that halfhearted...knave. and I've worked on that. I refuse to accept it in my life anymore.
If you're out there... Don't leave message.

White....

I have had certain bands and albums loaded on my laptops for years...never quite getting around to listening to them.

I may be several years behind, but I have finally reached into my He Is Legend collection.

Wow.

I have been swamped by their "amaze".
Their song China White even brought me to tears on a particularly low "downer" the other day.
But music is just such brilliant therapy and as much as I sobbed...I was relieved from whatever heartache had overtaken me that day.

I continue to be saddened by the line "I don't believe in miracles"... I still hold out a childlike hope for the alternative.

If *you* haven't heard He Is Legend yet.... I urge you, wholeheartedly, to take a leap into their album "I am Hollywood"... Surely your playlist will feel emptied without them.

....I have NEVER been a Bring Me The Horizon fan. Ever.
When I came across their first video off the newly released Sempiternal album (on YouTube no less) I fell inlove first with the video and then with the song... Which I believe, if memory serves me, Shallow Moses?
I may need to stand under correction...

I have realised that as Autumn starts heading to Winter's glare... These "rough" patches are about to come on with a vengeance.
I have my safety belt fastened and my seat in an upright position. Let's do this.

I take on bliss with Opeth's Hope Leaves.

Have a glorious Tuesday and I hope you find your bliss today ;)

Time stops for no one...

No matter how few and far between... When a downer hits, it really can *feel* like the end of the world.
This inconsolable sadness/anger/sulk... Whether you're bipolar or unipolar... If you are you'll know it.
There's hardly ever a logical reason for it though...

For the downer... Not the polar (because that all has to do with proteins and the brains chemical imbalance etc etc).

As I sink into a heavy work schedule, overcast skies (hopefully some rain), and the hope for this moment to pass...
I can't let go of the "value of life".

Can you?

Misunderstood...

Just because the vocalist is screaming, doesn't mean the words aren't far more relevant to reality than the shit your cutesy little poppers spew out.
Hardcore doesn't mean that they're swearing... hardcore means that they're talking about the things you'd prefer to ignore.

Fuelled by coffee... Saturday musings

"In The Fade" - Queens of the Stone Age

Cracks in the ceiling, crooked pictures in the heart

Countin and breathin, I'm leaving here tomorrow

They don't know, I'd never do you any good

Laughin is easy, I would if I could

Ain't gonna worry

Just live till you die, wanna drown

With nowhere to fall into the arms of someone

There's nothing to save I know

You live till you die

Live till you die, I know

Loosing a feelin', that I couldn't give away

Countin and breathin, disappearin in the fade

They don't know, I'd never do you any good

Stoppin and stayin, I would if I could

Ain't gonna worry

Just live till you die, wanna drown

With nowhere to fall into the arms of someone

There's nothing to save I know

You live till you die

That extra hashbrown...

Finally got my picky little paws on the HTC Desire X this week.
Can one *really* love a phone...because if one *can*...

Also this week I've come to realise :

* that I don't get the slipper fashion statement
* how love/relationships can end up for more complicated than they need be
* we're all way too sensitive about things that shouldn't matter.....and desensitised to things that shouldatter
* build a bridge
* there are people who are too amazing to let out of your life
* some people really cannot make coffee and shouldn't be allowed near a coffee machine
* laughing is good... Laughing at others misfortunes isn't
* making things that other people enjoy can be more fulfilling than money...sometimes
* Phil Collins makes pretty wicked tunes
* dogs and cats make a home so much better to LIVE in...but not necessarily liveable....specially if you have allergies.
* sometimes you'll need to swallow your pride and ask for some charity...

Little things...

Orphan

Astraeus

Apollo

Meet your hero...

Where do I even begin to understand/grasp this past week?

Inbetween nausea, listlessness, hope, love, bliss.... I found time to live.
Wednesday a new little puppymonster came into my life by way of trying to avoid getting driven over by trucks.
The tiny (tinier than cats), black dog that I'm assuming is a daschund yorkie cross, seems to have found a home between me and my two boys. She's still without a name and answers to my voice...in general, even when I'm not talking to her. *sigh*

I have some AMAZING people in my life that have been filling my weekends and spaces in the week... and will continue to do so as long as I am their friend.
The Henley girls and new Henley boy have just been so awesome. Spent yet another weekend between the 3 of them, as well as with another Henley boy who's 20th birthday was yesterday.
We braaied under the stars, surrounded by citronella candles planted in the flower beds and lighting our sitting space. Cats and kittens and a clumsy nanny dog found the little gaps between all us humans and we had the most amazing and peaceful evening.

The new Henley boy has also been smashing my external full of new music, which I am so on another level with.
Kongos... I finally ! finally ! got ahold of their music and have been listening to it for a good section of today. I am shocked that my neighbours haven't taken the trip to come ask me to shut up my tunes.

Between brainstorming on very new brilliant ideas with one of my Henley girls, being spoilt by our market mom and dad, being surrounded by beautiful music, puppymonsters, horsebeasts, cats and vicious kettehs, yea... my life is pretty amazing. I am still swooning from this weekend.

Already have exciting dinner plans for this week with MORE gorgeous friends, I almost cannot wait for this week.

But as today dissipates along with what ever is left of the weekend... I'm doing shop edits, making stock and orders of the "super slouch" kids beanies that are now available... and inbetween I'm also cleaning my house >.< someone's gotta do it.

Go forth and have an amazing remainder to your Sunday and onward to a beautiful and surprising week.

A few days later...

Its 2 days after the first official braai in my new little house.

This weekend was just so refreshing!

Meeting new people, seeing people I know. Laughs, drinks, sunshine, hubbly, rain....

The Henley girls bought and brought a whole lot of plants for my garden as their housewarming/birthday gift for me... and I am just swooning still over it. My garden is going to look fantastic!

The dogsmonsters are settling in...even enough to tear up a rubbish bag outside the front door....that I stood picking up at nearly midnight.
It really has been an experience.
Its how its been in most of my places after a move...is that how its been for everyone?

Also...I have found an online community that I hope I'll continue getting comfortable in. Its great knowing there are "others" out there...

...life otherwise is looking pretty good.  I hope everyone's feeling the same :)

Just in that way...

Today, not even coffee is keeping the sleepies at bay. I may have to get something stronger...like a B12 shot.

I'm saturated with some amazing songs today as I fight to stay awake.
My heartfelt selection today:

Monoloog in Stereo - Fokofpolisiekar
I hope you get to meet your hero - Skunk Anansie
Cold Blooded - The Pretty Reckless
Little Lion Man - Mumford and sons
Vermilion pt.2 - Slipknot
Bubbles - Biffy Clyro
Heya (cover) - Matt Weddle
No Handlebars - Flowbots
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
You're gonna go far - The Offspring
What's going on - The Four NonBlondes
You - The Pretty Reckless
I Believed in You - Skunk Anansie
In The Fade - Queens of the Stone Age
Savior - Rise Against
I only Want you - Eagles of Deathmetal
If only for a night - Florence and the Machine
The Space Inbetween - How to Destroy Angels
Ghost Key - Isis
Three legged workhorse - This will destroy You
Breathe me - Sia
Sober - Tool
Soil's Song - Katatonia
Wish You Were here - Incubus
I want you - Danko Jones
A Media Friendly Turn for the Worse - Norma Jean
I'm not in love - Tori Amos
Passive - A Perfect Circle
Breathe Life - Killswitch Engage
Feel Good Inc - The Gorillaz
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden
Through Glass - Stone Sour
Falling from the Sky (day seven) - Norma Jean
Passenger - Deftones ft Maynard James Keenan
The Mark Has been made - NiN
You can't quit me baby - Queens of the stone Age
In The White - Katatonia

......there are just some very special songs on this list. They echo through my car daily, but today I need them like they'll save me.

Just...no

Sigh...

It's an onslaught of reds and hearts and chocolates every time I walk into a store... yup. We're heading to Valentines and the chain stores are psyching their marketing up VERY early for the "occassion"...

But besides that...

Just a quick HAPPY HAPPY! To birthday girl She_Grim. Happy 20th lady!

Then...living in the "small" towns we do, you're always bound to run into someone you know sometime.
And yesterday, someone I haven't seen in about 2 or 3 years, rolled up with his dirtbike at a cafè near my house.
We *had* a mutual friend, which is how we know eachother and of course this mutual friend came up.
He didn't seem at all surprised that I too was no longer friends with this person...but the bitterness that expressed about this person....was sad.

If someone, anyone, is going out and studying/working/bettering themselves....regardless of your current relationship with them, shouldn't you still wish them well? Shouldn't you hope it works out well for those people?

I was so dissappointed by something I have probably done myself too before...in the past.
Its rather sad...and ugly.

There is never any wrong in people having career ambitions...and ambitions to become "better people".

There...that's my chew out to anyone who wishes crap on other peoples lives.
Have more respect for yourself!

Laters. 

The excitement of... tea strainers

I have actually had a great day, dispite being in wicked pain...

Work went so well today, and I still say it's because it wasn't like we were melting! Wow it's been a hot Summer.
Thanks South Africa for that!

I got to a customer, who has also become such a great friend, and I had mentioned last year how I couldn't find a decent loose tea strainer... and when I walked into their office today, she handed me one.
I am so so chuffed and happy about my little tea gadget!

As much as I love my coffee... with my house so full of different teas that I've accumulated over the last months (for some reason) that's all I can drink this week!
Heading into tea addiction looks pretty good though...

Now... onto some more of 2013.

Whoever you are, where ever you are... I hope you're making your dreams come true!

Where home is...

I bought 2 new trees for the garden yesterday (all the big, mature, established trees have been fenced *out* of my enclosed garden -.- so yesterday I decided to give into the my green thumb cravings and go get the start of my new garden. If I'm going to be here for at least a year, I might as well enjoy it.

So this week there's planting going on of "upright rosemary", peppermint, strawberries, "fruit salad" trees and I'm bordering all of the flower beds with cactus es to keep the dogs from hopping over my small little bed fences to get in and squash the poor flowers.

Oh... and I'm *still* unpacking. I didn't know I had this much stuff...
But! I have not become a recluse in the process... I promise. I had such a fantastic potjie kos outing at 2 amazing people on Sunday while our puppies romped around the yard with one another.
Also being out at Henley Arms again when there *isn't* a market, is rather refreshing.

Now to fuel up on some rooibos tea and get some more unpacking and cleaning done.
Later humans!

~CJ~

Happy New Year!

Got a phone call... inbetween all the messages that were streaming in on my phone, from someone I have to honestly say I'm glad to know.
He very oddly asked me what my new years' resolutions were for this year... and I, honestly replied, I don't have any. But that hasn't stopped me from having "life changing" resolutions happen during last year. And most of those have been about changing *me*.
After a bit of laughs and well wishes, we said happy new years and goodbye.
I may have lost people like him over the last few years, and then been found again by them, but I can honestly say that I was lucky to have met him a few years back, and I'm very blessed that he even still gives me a moments thought at any time of any day.

That's what I want. I want people to know they've left a mark on my life for the better, no matter what our differences have been. No matter the petty/trivial fights and arguments and disagreements. There's always been something good that some people have left with me.
To those people... thank you.

To "the guys" who spent most of today with me, just relaxing in my new house. I am so lucky to know you three. My heart is in such a good place around you!

I spent the last few minutes of sunset today, on my little porch, under the pagola... drinking hot rooibos tea, watching my 3 puppy monsters play on our small lawn. Gah! I also got to spend some time with the 2 horsebeasts... and so I consider my first day of 2013 to be a success.

No anger. No foul language. No rage. No sadness. Just an all encompassing peace and serenity.

.... now for the rest of the year ;)