The last 19 months have been... a test. A test on my resilience, my faith, my self respect, my respect for others, my gratitude, my independence...
And my soul stretched and leaned... seemingly all in the right direction.
I feel I'm better equipped to becoming the better person I set out for over 3 years ago.
And just over two weeks ago I started working. At an actual job.
I left bookkeeping (and debtors/creditors clerk positions) far behind me because of opportunities that came my way... and here I am, working less than 21km's from home, for a salary noone believed I would get in this area (and even though its alot less than what I was last earning in a permanent position) .... it's the platform I have been gifted/granted/afforded.
The work has been exhausting, mentally, and even someone as pedantic about numbers as I am... ends the day of 8 non-stop hours with "I'm done. I'm going home"...
And I feel great! Exhausted... but so absolutely great.
Though I will be "purposely serving" during the next few months as I find my way and figure everything out... I will eventually "serve a purpose" and find that great balance between work and personal space again.
I am grateful with a level of relief no words can accurately express.
To have a path again...
Though I can look back at these last 19 months with far more fondness now. As if this is what it was all waiting for.
A non-judgemental, non corporate entity, to take me on for what I can do.
Life will happen, and sometimes its so easy to get lost in that. So easy to forget you're ALIVE. So easy to stop... so easy to give up.
