There is nothing quite so nerve wracking as being someone who NEEDS to be "in control" of everything possible...and then finding out how little "possible" actually is.
Financially, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, you have to start throwing your worries to the wind...because right now, its like they're all rhetorical questions in my life.
Because I know what the answers would be if I had a full time job again... and yea, if I had a full time job.
How awful is it that so much can depend on us working for someone else? Either it's a joke or it's pretty sad....
We're so very lost when one piece of our puzzle falls away... I'd like to say I can deal with it, and that I'll "find a way"... but for all my trying there seems to be this massive invisible wall that keeps jumping I to my path along this journey.
Luckily I'm stubborn... or unlucky
But for all of this instability, I can be sure of how grateful I am for each day I get to wake up to. The more I look at the little things, the more I can find a way of easing the unease.
Bitter sweet and comfortably so... I guess.
I guess its better than losing my mind, pathetically, to the "real world".
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