I've been hanging onto hope for far longer than I could even admit to myself. And considering that right now there is no clear definement between work and personal... the hope I hold is all encompassing.
The hope of work and a job has hung over my head like a great big storm cloud, raging in its inner fury, black and lightening stricken...waiting to burst but never quite geting there.
Fuck that.
I made so many promises to myself after being retrenched and those are the things I was supposed to hold as my personal law...that all went with the wind of my personal storm.
Here I am, my loyalty for those who have done nothing presently to deserve it, stripped to the flesh and I am going to take care of me and the promises I made myself.
I am not filled with any kind of vengeance, so whosoevers toes I end up tredding on, best not take it personal.
I have lost a great deal of self worth and being over the last 5 months, and it wont go into its 6th. I have my batshit crazy face on and war in my fists.
My compassion and kindness though vast and huge, should never make me a walkover.
And I fear thats what became of it...
Onward ★
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